Christmas

This Christmas has been the most emotional and convicting one for me yet. Getting to spend this past year with my precious baby boy has made me think so much about Mary and wondering what it would have been like to partake in raising God's son. I cannot even imagine that she had to give birth in such unfavorable conditions and lay her sweet baby boy in a manger. I often wonder what Jesus was like as a baby. I suppose he cried because he was cutting teeth or had a dirty diaper...which seems unreal, but is true. Then the part that makes me fall to me knees, and tears running down my face right now, He gave his only son to die a public, painful, and humiliating death....all for us. And here we are running around worried about buying presents and cooking and everything else Christmas seems to bring now....I wonder how God must feel? I look at Colt every day and wonder how God could do such a thing, letting His son die on a cross, for such sinners like me???!! I cannot begin to fathom giving up Colt to save someone else, ESPECIALLY the way Jesus died. I would die before I EVER saw my son be nailed to a cross. CAN YOU IMAGINE??????!!! Poor Mary was just sobbing at the foot of the cross. How painful for a mom. God's love is unfathomable and amazing. I can see how some people find the story so hard to believe. Becky's song is a good description of how I am feeling this holiday. (If you haven't seen it search "Where is the Line to See Jesus?" on YouTube.)

I just think it is so ironic that on the day set aside to celebrate Jesus' birth, we are so focused on material things. Of course I LOVE giving gifts, I just wish that it wasn't so overdone and overshadowing of the true meaning of Christmas. It's frustrating that so many of us are on a budget, but still feel pressured to spend money we shouldn't on gifts for everyone. Ok, now I am rambling. Just felt compelled to share my heart.